E S T R O G E N D O M I N A N C E IT’S NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
My husband left for work, I’m trying to get myself out the door after a wardrobe crisis of epic proportions and I can’t find my keys. I look all over the house. I search under pillows, between sofa cushions, kitchen drawers, and my purse, 12 times. Finally, standing in the kitchen, cats milling around my feet with my arms outstretched, I yell,
“Where the hell are my keys?”
I open my left hand during the yell and
Yep. They were in my hand the entire time. I knew, in that moment, I had lost my mind.
There was the most obvious moment of mindlessness I have experienced. Prior to that, silly, seemingly random, unrelated symptoms appeared and disappeared, then reappeared; I wanted to take my eyeballs out and rub them with sand paper; they became so dry and itchy. My skin dried up after a lifetime of being my own personal oil well. Bloating and fatigue to rival a beached whale, aching joints, and let us not forget the rampant weight gain that persisted no matter what I did, ate, didn’t eat, or exercised off (or thought I had). Sub zero sex drive (bad for a newly wed!) and on the rare occasion I was in the mood, vaginal dryness that made the Sahara desert look lush. I couldn’t remember anything, suffered from a strange aphasia ~ I knew what I wanted to say, but between my head and mouth it got lost, jumbled and I ended up sounding as if I was on drugs.
Visit after visit to the doctor. Innumerable times being told I had this or that thing, drugs thrown at me that didn’t work and the suggestion that perhaps I should see a therapist, or maybe I should simply accept the fact I am no longer 22 and realize my body is going to start doing some strange stuff. NO. I have lived in this body for 42 years. I know it pretty well. I know that menopause and the rollercoaster ride that accompanies it are often used as a panacea to shut women up..”Oh, it’s just menopause/ perimenopause/ PMS/ psychosis”
It wasn’t any of those It was (and is still) Estrogen Dominance. The most insidious part of Estrogen Dominance is the subtle symptoms that make you question your sanity. “Did that really happen?” The bone deep knowledge that something wrong is going on but the medical community isn’t looking at all of the symptoms as a whole. My aching heels are related directly to my dry, itchy eyeballs. My weight gain is directly related to my hair loss and foggy thinking. It is all one thing ~ Estrogen
